Will

Dearest Will,

There are so many what-ifs and things I wish I had or hadn’t done or said but today is all about focusing on the positive things that I remember about you.

You were one of my biggest supporters.

Anytime I would post a reel or live video, you would tell me how it inspired you to do things out of your comfort zone. 

You always understood when I had time set aside for my business and were always so patient with that and even encouraged me to do more, work more, and hustle harder.

When I had a rough day, you would be the first one who would offer to drop everything and be there for me. 

You held my hair as I vomited then made me toast to eat even when you were sick too.

You always apologized when you were in the wrong and always strived to make amends as soon as possible. 

You were never too busy for me.

A time I will never forget is when you cried on my shoulder about life, the things you regret or wish you had done differently - you were always transparent with me from the very first day we met but it wasn’t often that you broke down completely because you were always so busy fighting to help others through their pain.

One of my favorite memories is when you came over to meet a friend of mine and as soon as you walked in the door, you held up a bag of cookies and proudly announced, very loudly, “I brought cookies!!” only to continue with, “but they’re mine…I didn’t bring them to share.” We laughed so hard. 

You had so many of your own demons but always prioritized fighting other people’s demons before your own because you hated to see others in pain. In the end, you lost your battle with mental illness and addiction but you put up one hell of a fight. 

When I bring out the trash, walk to my car, leave or come home from work, or even walk to my mailbox, you are the very first thing I think about. 

I sure do miss you living next door, that you were only a minute walk away, and always being there for me. I wish I could have been there for you like you needed in the end as well.

I am so sorry as you were so young, had so much already going for you, and you made such an impact on people within only moments of meeting them, and always wanted more for your life and others. 

I am also so grateful because you are in a much happier place and I will see you again. 

You knew how to make each moment count and told me you loved me before you passed away - I missed my chance to tell you this in person for you to hear but I love you too. I really do.

Sincerely,

The Girl Next Door (literally)

If you are struggling with addiction, depression, or suicidal thoughts, please reach out to me. I am here for you and so many others are too. For the Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255